The Most Random Weekend in the History of Humanity

I didn’t rant or tell you anything vaguely useful last week principally because I wasn’t here. I was chilling out in a little cottage up in Northumbria. Chilling being an appropriate word. It was very cold, and very windy, but it was nice to have a little relax. I also had a birthday while I was up there. Twenty one. Now I'm a fully functioning social adult in old money as well as new.

I don’t want to be accused of false advertising so I better get on with telling you about the Most Random Weekend in the History of Humanity. OK, maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggerated claim, but it was a lot of fun. There’s probably a fair few blogs floating out there in there in the mists of the internet describing various incomparably fun Whitby Gothic Weekends had by folks up and down the country, so I’ll spare you a blow by blow account of the entire four days of debauchery. That, and I didn’t really do much in the way of ‘official’ stuff (Sexy Sunday and saw two bands in the Res on Saturday. Well...kind of saw them) so I’ll leave the people who were actually there to tell you about the good stuff. I think the easiest way to do this will be a list of the incidents that made the weekend so much fun.

1. On the Thursday night I had a genuine ‘wardrobe malfunction’. My friend decided that my corset wasn’t laced up tightly enough to tightened it up for me, and snapped the cord. So before everything came flying out I legged it into a shop doorway for some damage limitation. Now being left with a much shorter cord I couldn’t lace up the top or bottom two eyelets so I was nowhere near as secure and spend the rest of the evening paranoid that the girls were going to make a bit for freedom.

2. My friend got attacked by a bat. How goth is that? She did not, however, cradle it gently, pat it on the head and whisper some Poe to it. Instead she shrieked and whacked it. I’ll be having some of those goth points back then. This is after she fell of a step and managed to take a photo mid flight (keep watching Facebook) and before my other friend fell down some different steps. I didn’t fall down steps, although I deserved it after laughing at the others. I did fall off a bed though.

3. The next day we ran into Random Hug Guy who was so famous he’d taken on an apprentice. The apprentice had the honour of wearing a sign around his neck proudly proclaiming the legend FREE HUGS. We gave them their hugs and then they decided to do an experiment. Would putting the sign on a girl increase the number of received hugs? So then I was wearing the sign and I did, actually, get more hugs. And some random guy who whipped me with seaweed. And someone else who yelled down the cliff top to his mate; ‘I've found a girl for you!’ I hid after that.
4. We went to the Res to see Uninvited Guest. They really were rather good, but it was too hot in there so we spent most of the night sat in the corridor by the ladies’ toilets. Then I lay down because I was tired and we had another five minutes of fame as people started taking pictures. Those were the ones who didn’t think I'd fainted.

5. Then it was the turn of the Creepy Guy. We had the honour of having the hotel room next to his. He introduces himself to people by asking if they like cake and then explaining that he makes friends by offering them cake. No one wants cake for breakfast. Few people want conversation at breakfast. He seemed to be providing an abundance of both. Then he started following the poor girls who worked in the hotel around. Then he came back so drunk that they had to call the police. I missed the last bit as I was actually doing something organised (Sexy Sunday) so my poor roommate was on her own.

6. Dancing the Macarena to the Sisters of Mercy. Hell yeah!

We also seemed to spend a disproportionate amount of time wandering around (in silly feet aching boots) looking for food, and it took a long time for the poor guy working at the Shambles on Friday night to get our drinks order right. We did, however, discover the joys of Archers and
Coke. Not a patch on Sourz and coke though.

A good weekend was had by all! Bring on New Year!

Peace and Love x